In this situation, God was definitely saying, "Not yet", and now I can say I'm thankful for the delay. In the words of Steel, "You(I) used to be kind of a mess.". Now, don't get me wrong, I'm still a bit of a mess, but I'm on the mend. It has been a long time since I have given myself permission to believe that I honestly deserve all the good stuff in life. Still, I can't believe that I am getting this opportunity, but I DO believe I deserve it. Finally.
I did not find my dream job when I first got out of school. Congratufuckinlations to all of you who did. Bitter? Who, me? Kidding! I made my bed, and I laid. For a year and a half. Actually, I was pretty excited about my first "Big girl" job. I am grateful for the experience, but it just wasn't fulfilling enough for the long haul.
Of course, I never had any of these "tantrums".
I drove A LOT for my job. I kept telling myself that I would have a new job before I hit 50,000 miles on my car, and at 48,497 it happened! Sadly, that means that I won't be taking nearly as many pictures that look like this:
The end of the car headshot era.
I am So, SO happy, blessed, lucky and overwhelmed by the new adventure I'm about to take. I am also very thankful to have so many people in my life that are happy for me.
Something I sincerely plan to do.